langkah kanan

just now
i nk turun pergi makan
then
uncle guard call for me
i thought nk soal siasat ape jadah lagi
then......
he asking me to treat him a dinner
hhehe
aku pon dah mula menerawang
dalam kotak suka hati aku
bajet2 poket doremon aku nih
ade brape rupiah rm je
hu3
tapi cuz mengenangkan
die slalu bukakkn gate utk aku yg
selalu balik subuh  malam nih
blik club  keje
ku pon sanggup
dgn keredhaan hati
tapi weird situation begin
aku igtkan nk mkn kat warung
penyangak  tu je
tapi
dy dah start kete plak
oooo
rupanya nk makan kat warung cik temah gebu  chumel tu
oooo pakcik
hehe
nk jumpe jugak kekasih hati dye
then
skrang aku dah kekenyangn macam
katak kembung  ular sawa ang chumel
urmmmmm
pakcik yang blannje okehhh
:D :D :D :D

a little spoilt

actually shift i morning hari nih
so was planning to go out
with "belalang"
but he always spoilt it
hurm...tak ingat yang dia
selalu cakap je
buat jarang
of course.... cuz
with another 2 woman as his MEM
and he also actually attracted to my friend
not me
but as her got someone better
she dont want him
ok
fuck off bout this...
just wanna says
belalang if tak jadi kluar bgtahu lar bengong
penat ah aku terkejar-2
cikini punya olang
ko taw aku shit betol dgn owg yg
dah berjanji tapi ta buat
n so
aku takde hard feelinggs kat ko
jangan nk treat aku cam MEM ko

satu story

as long as im working neyh

there a man who is like a nightmare

cuz i tak pernah expect

he is to excited adoring people

n hell yeah die pakistan  erti kata lain 

bangla

and then if suka saje takpela an

but he is kind of over acting

at first the situation is under control

till he is bravely take my fon number

when i am accidently

left it at my drawer

and that make mee feel so &*%$# off

then

his behave also

always staring

make the uncomfortable feels

than

i memang pantang

people buat i  terkejut rudely

like nk kejutkan tidur or mengelamun

something macam tu

my heart will pounded strongly for a long time

and that bangla done that

so the fucking words is started

and btw memg aku tak suka orang yang terlebeh n melebih nih

not respect people

kite kena sedar diri

yeah we ha have to
kita kene sedar diri
kita cantik setara mane
supaya nanti
kita tak perasan cun gila
sampai ade jejantan-2 yg nak ushar line
bukan nk wat bini pun
test market je laa weyh
n nk test peluang je
tkdela kite ikut smpai ke rumah berhari-2

kite kene sedar diri
bila kwn-2 tegur
untuk kebaikan
jgnlah ko nak buat kepala tenuk
aku tau lah ko tengah sedaaap

kite kena sedar diri
muhasabah niat sebenar
kenapa kita disini
niat apa kita disini

kta kena sedar diri
kita ada mak bapak tak?
kita ada kawan-2 tumpang malu tak?

kita kena sedar diri
memang lah kubur masing-2
sape nk kacaw ko?
aku ada bilik sendiri nanti
tp jangan ah ko nak seret aku masuk bilik ko
time tuh nanti
kan kubur masing-2
ko cakap dengan tuhan,ko cakap dgn malaikat
jangan kacau aku sebab
tak halang ko
jangan tanye aku sebab
tak cakap yg engkau nih kaki perasan
sampai merosak diri

u know wht
actualy aku nak je ckp kat ko
ko tak payah nk berangan blik hostel lagi
laww ko tanak makan kepala lutut aku
aku harap ko terberanak n kene tinggal bagai
weh-2
die supervisor je kot
ko nak hadap sgt?
nuar laki org t lgi bgos ah
ko t bru knl jntn tu shari tros ikot
ko jgn nk ngadap muka aku lagi
lps mcm-2 ko tinggalkan kat aku
aku yg kene tiaap mlm ngadap
guard yg soal siasat aku am polis sal ko
ko tak pk ke?
aku blik keje tgah-2 mlm
pnt2
nk melayan soalan
law soaalan dpt hadiah juta2 takpe gak
nih soalan cibai sl ko
eh perempuan
eh laki
hidop nih
takde makne r
law korang perasan
coz semue bermula dri perasan cantik
n perasan hensem
then kita ke langkah seterusnya
merosak diri
babi punya kwn
mcm syial

bright sunday

wtfuuuuu
tak jadi nk blogging
auntie kol soh masuk keje daaaa
cshier ta ckup

guess what

yeah.....the final had finish 

the semester break are on the way 

and i........ 

hurm 

im working here 

urghh so tired :(

yet, happy

with my college friend 

but there are als many good friends and helpful person 

on first day im open my own box

i have short for 57.RM 

its so shocked, and buat i cuak 

heheheheh

takpela

my first own mistakes

the scond day is better

lebeyh taw singgit

cuz customer manyak bek at me

working there i learn lot of things

many boys there wnna flirt

n many tergoda at my friend tu

but sometimes looking at tht

always make me grateful 

coz allah u know it

im always asking for u

to let me way from someone hurting me

and give me the truly most lovers ones

eventhough i had one

but he have to be the precious one

dear allah

i love u

final

im facing my final now
to uch work to do
and im sick too
urghh
wht test u give me god?
i wish ill get well soon and get
time to stdy
dear god

its not the end of the day

abg ee is angry with me
bcoz i went to bentong
without his permission
i thought its ok
bcoz b4
im not telling him its also ok
his anger made me sad
mreover bentong is just near
from here
realy near
and im not staying there for days
im just home on the sme day
i've appologise
but he is arrogant
or
he really
acctualy taking this as chance to hate me
(~_~)

im a happy heartless

alhamduillah
even i lost my notes for speech this morning
and got many test
i can through it
but.....
i buat perangai lama
menangis tibe-2
wht should i do
this tears wont stop
im
hopeless

1ST Oct

Its been long since I don’t write

Hell yeah….too busy….but here’s the story… yesterday is a worst day ever

I hate that morons…the shidah,alia, what the fuck are u thinking off??

I think u all realise tht u are pretty?yet actualy not…and it doesn’t seem tht u think u r pretty is a license

For u to act rudely n seing others just for laugh…its not funny!! Jeek at other is not fun at all!!shit!!

Wht a sellfish bulshit!!if only u nk gatal sgt,pegilah memantat dgn boy u!!knp nk susahkn org lain?

Menyusahkn org tahu tak?bile lecture taak ngaja sbb fake atendance korang tuh? I pay a lot to be here..so cant u don’t be fool bitch????

Another story…..farid has come back too me J

Manaf is missing me…. ;)

Raes ike usual… :/

And I strt my smokes back

Urmmm…im alone now,others went home

N some went clubbing,n not here yet…

Who knows? I just tking care of myself….whtever I wnt I’ll do

As long as,it doesn’t bother me…like loosing virginity,,,I’m not into it

3rd Oct

Its 2 am now… yeah…my floor had a fight….no  it is 2 fight

The first is not too exiciting…they just had a mouth fight………….hurmmm

Wht else u wnt expect with gurlz????!!!the second is quite admiring

They had a mouth fight and a fight!!! I love it…. The slim one vs the fatso

But….the fatso is sooo weak…damn it….gurls nowadays…. I think…hve to learn fighting…even u are ass gentle actuly….but we need it at a time…the roughnesssss….and im also…ass gentle as fur..but try me if u got me burn>>>>

18th Sept

What more than me? Its seems so hard…so difficult for me…to survive..in this

Sad memory,traffic of people…judging and critising only

What more than me, Farid? What more than me Manaf? What more than me!!

I hate this… I have my own desire too, why you all being so selfish?

What more than me? If I can only thinking of u guys, ur importance

Why don’t u?

What more than me? Why I have to face these all…godamnit! !

Deep in my heart,its still bleeding inside

19th Sept

I’m feeling alone today… and afraid what to learn

For tomorrow tasks… I hope I manage to handle it… im a bit missing farid and daus…

We had been together, in long gap…it’s a beautiful lie,if I said I not even remember them…

As I still can remember fat(fazly) its had been 7 years ago… whenever the hujan’s songs is played

Sometimes I wish, I will drown in time,which all the good things not have to end…

When ayah still love me, when manaf still with me, when farid met me, when wan brought amoy to me, when I am pretty and slim, and when I had a good time with daus,at the park…

I always think in every relation….how it wil end up? Is it good?or worse?how he will treat me?is he will take care of me? Or denying me?

How…to not feel being betrayed,and satisfy with my own ugly shape….

Yeah…im not a grteful person…how wil I be grateful?when the one tht I love,will go to others…

Yeah, I hd mny others to love me…but, do I could love them?

My heart is like rock, its hard to forget, and hard to love

What do I do?

a bit about the years

dah lame sangat rasenye

syah tak menjenguk diari maya nih

terasa kekosongn sangat

hidup jauh mcm ni

sangat terasa and mengenal

who is friends and foe

skrg da ad brdbnd

alhamduillah

somega allah memurahkn rezki 

aisyah

stok seksi vs stok bertutup

STOK SEKSI-2 LAKI BUAT EWW-2 JE...STOK TUTUP-2 KITORANG BUAT BINI
yeah what ur opinion about this?
kalau dulu, i can accept this statement
but now........naa
i do wanna ask u...coz it has been reality and facts
u can watch it happens among u all too
nowadays....this statement is just an excuse
so this is the question
when the covered one being ur wife...adekah korang akan makan luar untuk the seksi one?
for me....for sure right
its okey...if u wanna say im shit,or any *&^%
coz,korang mesti ckp
the covered one who is being ur wife already been sexy to u
right?
but betul tak....u all pon specialy for the jerk one
wanna being proud when every other jerk looking ur gurl
saying "waaah!!!pandai ko cari"
tipu sangat la yg korang ta bangge
ade awek hot stuff
that old stuff
never been broke
i noe
u all actualy suke yg nkl-2, hyper
but bcoz the culture didnt seems to accept this
and u afraid, just flowing the flow
alaahhh...same lah dgn kbykn gurl yg sukekn laki nkl
i mention nakal NOT a player

 why am i saying this?
hurrmmm
u tgok jelaaa,brape ramai yg dah married
makan luar
and i pernah mpunyai kwn sprti ini
guess what bile i tanyer
his answer is only
"wife i pernah keluar dalam keadaan free hair just once
tu pun i mintaakkk"
wht the???
:D just thinking....not assuming

quite pleasant day

its a big journey
living here in cheras
so many different people i could see
i had spent my night here
in my friends house
a family who i envy
they are wealthy yet full of religious
and his father
is also
realy love his childrens
i wish to be treated like this
but where is my father
yeah...he's gone
into his own egoistic world
dont blame me
which i know wht i do

my bff

yeah
he is my best friend forever
he the one who always listen to me
he is tahir
tahir my best friend forever
but i am feeling lost now
he has been busy
yeah,aisyah
cant u understand?he need to study
like you!!
tahir...just want u to know
im missing u
u treat me
like i am precious...everyday
asking for my story
share my sadness
n my bad feelings story too
together kutuk org
and share my pain too
i just miss u
n hoping that
u wont get bored to me
n left me alone again
you are truly a friends
whop bringin lights to me

the bored day again

hurmm
life is boring here
im all alone
and live in darkness
dgn situation rku yg kurang cihat
but...its not all about tht
im just feeling sad
just people tell me
to open n received others
but
how come?
baru tadi ade guy
trying to flirt with me
and then
half an hour after
i saw him
trying to flirt others too
im not blind
but i feel like i want to laugh
are you all are persuading me to giving chance to this sort of boy?
hell yeah!!better not
i rather be alone
i hate the fake feelings things
then the girls
knp ea?semue girl suke berpuak-2?
wht are you thinking girls?
korang kawan sbb same-2 cun ke?same-2 pandai?or same-2 gedik?
urghh
rku ta pandai nk kwn puak-2 cam korang
sebab
rku ta taw mane klbihan rku
gedik kah? atau cun kah? atau cerdik kah?
im not all of that
im just a person
yg ade kekurangan n kelebihan
and im not taking any impression of all your shit,mother fucking,damn words to me
nope,bukn rku yg nak
korang yg terlalu bgus untuk brkwn dgn rku

mumbling

i got fever againn
as usual,
it is just because im crying more than 9 times a day
fool me?yeah im fool
coz of u that shit

sorrow

manaf...i dont know why
still,im in love with u
still im thinking
and still im care about u
rku ta taw knpe
rku sgt kasihan
menyintai dan menyayangi
seorng lelaki yg ta pernah mengerti
perasaan rku
rku ta pnting bg kau
rku taw itu
kehadiran atau ta kehadiran rku
ta beri kesan pd kau
rku taw
tp msih
rku sgt myayangi kau
rku mintak maaf
urghh
da keberape ratus kali rku menyatakan maaf
maaf kerna menyayangi kau
dan maaf
kerana ta bisa mnjadi cntik
slim amoi mcm keinginan kau
mintk maaf
rku sgt menyesal
sbb ta sesmpurna itu
sungguh
even
kau dah ta peduli aku
even kau dah ta mengingati aku
aku mintak maaf sekli lagi
kerana
sentiase berlinangan air mata mengingati kau
menyesl
sungguh rku mintak maaf
sebab ta seperti yg kau harapkan

bring me sun

from the first day i came here
since today, nothing enlighten me
living here is so boring
with the mess schedule
wht da
hell
cant u the management do it faster
im not coming here to waste my time
im coming here for my future
ok....
actualy im bored
thinking of da money
and no one take care of me
ha...ha...ha
im too pathetic
but it is wht i feel
alone

there's always fake

urghh, i had bad legs condition 

studying in kptm kl are not so good so far 

maybe.it is still new (agaknyeeee!!) 

heheh...but,even we are too many,they should had prepared by da feedbck given 

okey... i wont critize too much,by hook or by crook
it always be my study cntre
also my bad habit laa
i went through shopping so much
that my money baru awal buln da habess
okey... (+_+) blame me
then, thres always somone acting jerk
in my situation,
theres a girl who being selfish
and annoying,till i felt like wanna stab her dead
grrr
and.... i also still missing someone...whts wrong with me
pity me right?

formula one

A woman is like Bluetooth...

you are next to her, she stays connected. 

You go away, she finds new devices

A man, however, is like wifi... 

many devices can connect to him as long as he is not secured.....

wht past..is past

skunk 24 jun 11.05pm...
ngeh-3,gile ngade gedik akuh mcm tade automatik date je kan
actualy,im feeling much better now
bcoz last night, rku marah-2 kat manaf
it s really a good remedy,
mcm taak percaye,perasaan sdih n tension akuh
tros blah tanak patah balik
lps akuh ckp kat dak nih pe rase yg akuh nk letopp
ta hengat ....but
thres always but........akuh rasee cam ayat akuh kasar ah kot
yelaaah,akuh kan bek,mane nk pakai ayt letop-2 gile
ngeh-3
tp cyes puas hati, it make me realised that
wht i do really want is
not this relationship anymore,but
da silence damn shit kill me
i admit, i love him and not mistaken
its not more than friends
mmg tale blah,mcm heaven jak rase
so pade sape-2 yg pendm prasaan tuh
pastikan perasan korang
and when the times come
ko maki je pe yg ko ta puas hati dalm satu mcz
hah,mcm akuh wa doh

go to hel!! bnci rwk!! cyes
jgn watt cy cam owg bongok h k!
kot hari-2 2gu mcz rwk!! uhh
 n &*^%%$#@
gile bek akuh
rwk & cy + wth,wtf@#$^&*( 
combintion yg bek yg memang ta kuar ah dr mulut rku nih
kcuali law ko bako rku


shit!!!ngeh-3  

aku punye kanon wakeshima

so.... da lame mnt goth and kanon
aku punye hampeh punye ngade
transfer adik aku tuh jadi kanon wakeshima version mini
nah-2 korang tgok
punye aku puas hati
dpt lepas geram kat adik ku yg sorang nih
ye ah,dye mix chinese
serumpun ah tuh ngn jepun korea bagai
len ah rku
mix tak taw nk mix pe daah
mix makan je yg bleh
ngeh-3

                                                                       kanon

                                                    mini kanon wakeshima :D

                                                                             kanon

                      mini kanon wakeshima yang didera supaye jangan senyum hahah



gile happy aku hari nih,semua lyn je prangi plik akuh

kpada kau yg pernah aku syg

so manaf
how its been
u've chnged now
a lot
i dunnoe why
u yg slame ni baik,caring
pergi kemane
i guess,it is now
for other gurl
maybe...........
u da jumpe,yg btul-2 ikot ur taste
mcm amoi.. :D
im sorry coz im not born chinese or kacuk whtever
im sory coz im not perfect to u
im sory coz im truly love only u
but...
im sory to let it go
u da bz,to treat my mcz
only once
isnt it weird?
we knows tht we not contct alwyss like other couple
we respect our times for others too
even when u denied
i always can see the liars thing
dear my lovely2 ex bf
which i love till today
i know u,coz
i love u truly
ii will forget u
when the first time i step into da bus
ill leave u
ill leave da past
coz, i dunt want u to lie anymore
it hurts me
a lot
i dunt wnt to force u
oz it bleed me
i just want u
as u,
n when it is not for me
u will being u again
for someone else
i alwys hoping u happy
although i noe
u may alredy bored with me
since i write this
but still
i will feel excited thinking of u
dear, ill alwys hope u hpy
n never bore about u
bubye

eugene

i wish,
ill be gorgeous like her,
n for da new me,
ill work harder,
to be slimmer,
to take care of my own self,
s da challege,
for me... n for those who
never give a glance n jeek
at me...
eugene
wait for me

unpatiently

actualy,im counting da day

to kptm 

im so nervous,thinkin'

tht,can dey accept me?how bout my mara loan? 

can i get it? do ill get many friends? 

can  learn? can i be myself? 

and.....................

can i be happy n leave da sadness? 

can i forget dem

i just want a new life,n love myself