I miss Omar..

I want to tell him
I like him
But im not sure of his feeling
Sometimes he look like he cares
Sometimes, he ignoring me
i would like to give him this sleepy song
I dont know if he interested in this song..
But i hope he try to understand tht lyrics

Give you all the love that I can.
I guess you know by now how I feel.
No, theres no one else in my heart.
You are the only one that I need.

So now when you leave...
itґs so bitter sweet
now for so deep...
itґs so bitter sweet...

fed up

im fed up with my own body
tell me, what to do again
i've done everything
anything
i try it all
dear god, pelase
for this, once
let me, be fit.... give me, please
i want to be fit

I am serious

scrolling around my FB,
I read a status of my friend,
don't think this happen to you out there
but its happens to many people here, in my country
Malaysia....
this is the status...
"Kata Cina yg singgah di rumah aku, "Kita cuma manusia hingga 20tahun. Lepas tu jadi kerbau, kerja keras hingga 40. 40 ke atas sudah selesa tapi jadi monyet kerana buat lawak untuk budak budak. Masuk 60 kita jadi anjing, jaga rumah." Sorry for that lapse in language . Cliche, yet true."

it means that, a Chinese drop by my house said that "we just feel and became a human until only 20, after that we became a buffalo, who work hard earning money until we reach 40. During 40 and above, we are in a little comfortable states, but we became monkey. We make jokes to children (means take care of our grand child's) when we turn 60, we became a dog....who take care of the house"

I don't know with others, but my opinion.. I'm agreed..
We Malaysian, in intermediate state...is always work hard to earn money...
if u ask them, how many times they had vacations in 3years,
i'm sure they will answer > 3... but if u ask them how many times u do over time, they'll said > 100.
to be honest... i don't like it this way...
I have seen my mother in this way too.
no leisure no pleasure... money only

there is a belief,
i had heard before...
" work with your dreams, you will rise...
  work with your body, you will be plain"
its a belief, made by my old school mate... and he hold on to it, till today
 and why? i said its true, can you ever imagined? when you do a job, the job is your dream job, how will u do it? is it will be awesome, or dull? it must be good, because you like it... you do it truthfully, your desires in it.. u sprinkles your creativity.. and yes, you be happy... healthier.. but how, if it turns to opposites?
it will just a job, that you must finish it by time. with pressures to follow the deadline, and all of it conclude to No Progress, No progress means no advance Salary.. you will stuck, in your own dimensions unsatisfied, inside.

Progress is needed in life, no progress mean u die

they really don't realize that, all the salary with their hard earn money....
is only to pay their treatment cost
because they get many kind of diseases when they old...
this diseases are the impact of their stress, pressures and the food they eat.
they really don't give any intentions of their health..
as only they can go to work, then its good enough.
dear peoples, how much longer? we have to be like this?

get rid the fear, challenge yourself...
Enjoy yourself before its too late...
do business, make business,
financial management..
do it...
find ur goal...
be a consistent person....

my dear... live with dignity and satisfaction
then u wont regret it.......

intuition, James taught me...
believes in it

MAKE IT TODAY

NO REGRET

Its true

3 common lies from guys: I'm sorry, I love you, I won't hurt u. 3 common lies from girls: I'm fine, I'm not mad at u, I don't love you.

last night was a busy night

 My brother called me, 

surprisingly he wanted to meet me...

hahaha... i thought he don't miss his little sister here...

we just went out for dinner.... at sushi king, KLCC

i eat a lot!!!! 

the food is good and reasonable, its fresh....

tempting right? do come...have a try

then he send me back... after that i went out with my friend... Adli

I don't really understand him

if u reading this..

u might say him a jerk..

but.... sometimes i feel pity at him

he treat me like his gal,

yet he already has a gal..

and but, his gal get another boy....

Oh my.... even me will be insane in this circumstances.

i don't care about this, but i'm dragged into it too.

why, i always find men, that hard to understand

we went to eat againnnnn...

and my stomach felt like bursting..that time

i have to eat as he insisted...

then he send me back, as i felt shy, he had looked at my pic

which its supposed to be secret, all of sudden.

i think i need to change my phone.

here is the best part...

i went out again

with my crush

Omar

ahahaha...meeting him make me smile

although.... he actually not too happy, for he also have some probs with his mum...

yeah...arguement with our mum

do spoiled our day

we hate it, as we love them

mum.....

overall... i have a nice night,tonight

Happy Mothers Day, ( single mother my choice)

I dedicated this entry to my beloved mother ever,

First of all, I want to wish u mum, Happy, happy mothers day....

knowing you, do not understand English so well... the percentages of u to understand this entry is 50%

on this day, i want to say sorry, a lot of sorry for your worries.

I am sorry, as I has been a daughter that don't know how to show my love towards u,

but i do... love u for all my heart.

sorry, being a single parents for a daughter like me is hard.

U've done too much,until u have to let go your new husbands.

I am not even have any tends to seduce them, but u being a mum....

is strong enough, to get rid of them for my sake.

Sorry, for give it up all u have, for me...

to raise me up, with knowledge and support me

I've become one of the brightest student till now

u know mum, it helps me to survive

with cultures, and courtesy i have now

and this, sometimes burden me,

yes, and why? the cultures and courtesy, build my personality mum

and often, I'm facing difficulties with peoples who fall with it...

Mum, I'm sorry,

for sometimes I feel that u don't love me

for sometimes I feel that u do neglecting me

i do not understand your hard works...

Mum, I'm sorry

for now, I choose to be me

feeling like to explore the wild in myself

as, I think that I'm not worth at all

in your eyes, but I don't realize that

I hurt u, make u feel that there's no love for u

from me anymore

we argue mum, its printed in my soul

the bleed, the feel...

but Mum please, there's no other mum

only u, the one who sacrifice that much

I LOVE u, I just don't know how to show it...

I feel awkward, but I want to hug u,

lay on your lap...

like usual, crying but without asking why,

u noticed it...and pamper me...

mum, sometimes I feel like u love me, sometimes u don't.

but always, in your heart... My name and my feel carved in it...deep

*remember how u had collected my hair's that fall? it's been revealed by my brother... :D

we missing each other,

sighhh...such a bad daughter I am, mum...teach me how to act again...will u?

Shakespeare

James show me this...
Yet i dont know how to act...
Yes...i turn on...
But... It is imposible

I wrote something last week I thought it would be pointless if I dn't show U
Dn't get all cheesed up though..

U caught my eye indeed... Contrary, life must move on,
Planted my love seed... And yes U were turned on.

My cards r laid down... It's Ur move stop wondering,
Girls hit on me in town... Suprisigly, I leave them staggering.
U awakened the Shakespeare in me... Yes It's my 3rd (soft) layer,
Ms Cute Lovely of mine, oh! Time I get back being a player.

Thank U for the short memories, Lovely if it wuld've been longer,
U caught my eyes indeed... Unfortuntely life must move on.

Survive

I have to survive.... Myself....i have to....if others can...why not me....
Allah...give me strength....please... I hang on u...believe in u....
Help me please...
Yeah..ive done many mistakes....
But.... I also believe tht u will never leave me....
Give me strength and make my way easier,smoother to success....thats all...thats all i need... I pray... I hope... From you...the greatest.... Almighty... Allah...

Mock teaching

Im gonna teach today
But...i have no mood...
Trying to do this teaching aids from yesterday yet...only today...i'm doing it....
Im always like this...no mood to do all the aids n lesson pln...but when it comes to the day... I'll make sure it will become another lively meaningfull lesson to them...
Urggh...just...forgive ur teacher for being lazy meh...well its me...lets teach!!!!
Tik tok tik tik

We gonna play some games...and sing...anddd clock...and clock...n u telling me the clock...

(0_0) lol...teacher being crazy tday...

Ice skating

Have u experience ice skating before?
Its awesomes man...
I told james..about my hectic day...probs with my roomates... And he said... U know what... Lets get over it...let's have a life.... So he decided to take me to a secret place...
Damn it...ahaha...bcuz... Serve him right...  By not telling me where to go... I wear a wrong dress code...
Have u ever seen a person who went ice skating with skirt?
Well...now... Im the one who went ice skating with skirt....im freezing...but yeah... No regret... Im happy n satisfied...

Being a beginner... I was taught by all the young,cute tiny skaters inside... CHILDREN
I learn tht...yeah...we need to listen...no matters what is ur age...young or old... Listen...u must listen and accept... Then u gain something...valuable by listen..

I fell once... And the child said.. "u can ice skating or not?"
i said.. "no..sweetpie..this is my first time"
And then she started to tell me n show me
"like this,let ur feet close together...dont let it too wide"
"stand straight"
Then...i started want to fall
She said...
"u know what bcoz u is tall, u have to bend ur legs when u feel like to fall"
Oh my cutie honey bunny...
What a bright child are u...im grateful

Oh...yeah...for ur info...this ice skating is in The Curve Malaysia
Go...and have a try
The entree is rm30 for weekend and rm25 weekdays per person...

N yeah...i have body ache bcoz...its been a long time im not exercising....
Enjoy

Election

Today is the day
The biggest election in malaysia i ever had
I dont know...some say this n that gonna work...
I am just hoping for the best.... The most good...
Bcuz this or that....i am sure....that we all have the guts to take the risks...yes...there are risks...
Sometimes i wonder...
Some of that promising unlogically promises....
Why its unlogic? Bcuz i think...whatever it is.... This nation...gonna have to be alive.... N it being alive by the money we pay... We cant give everything free... Or else we gonna let our nation in the middle of big financial probs...
So... Ik taking it yeah...every party...is same...who ever they are....there will be some parts are corrupted... Bcoz we human...human dont get perfect...
The thing are...who can do it better?
One thing for sure...whatever party are they... Free this or that.... We have to pay...for other this and that.... I mean...its just an example for sure..dont get me wrong...
I believe free education...
But the quality might be lower
Its risks...
I believe we get BR1M
But then we have to pay the taxes back....

Whatever it is...who can rule better....

Changkat Culture

Just now...ive been to a place nearby changkat
I feel like.. Kinda shame
Its turn out.when im going to home
Two foreigner were beaten by a taxi driver..and those bonzer there came along to hit them...
I feel pity becoz they did bleed...
N they DONT fight back...
I think they were still wondering why they were beaten up...while.they were beating...

Its turn out that they say...MOTHERFUCKER

Actually...im kinda blame tht taxi driver... Who yeah.. Its not his first time get on his nerve...the thing is...he dont learn his lesson...
Im mean...commonlaa... U were picking people who just get out from club... Of course u expecting them to drunk... And some sort of....the fact is...their culture is differ from us... They can say whatever they want... Any curse... It dont being wrong there...and u have to know that they dont know that here...in malaysia...its kinda sensitive...

Please people...have ur guts to be patience...u already raise ur fare...though u cant handle words from drunk people? To bad...i had to see this..n its not im trying to say that we Malaysian are wrong...
But...we malaysian is full of politeness...do slow talk to them if u dont like it...im sure they gonna understand.... And please act and think logically...

The foreigner thou.. Bleed pretty bad...
Im just think they not fighting back...bcuz this is not their country...so... I want to ask...u peoples...how grateful u are when u feel belongingness?

Dont know why

Dont know why...my health lately is not to good....my skin also...pimples in da houseeee!!! Everywhere...

Stress,pressure maybe...
Pushers...

But...yeah... A lil scars...make u alive

Am i?

Am i not a good child?
My mom keep asking when? Ill be home....
I know she miss me...but i dont know...did she love me?
At first...she will look like she love me...
Then another day past... She will argue with me... Worst... Is... We always argue about bro's...

Im hurt... I try to get rid of it.. Being hurt... Because yes...this situation happened...
" stop giving reasons, they just want to hear...what they want to hear"
I just dont feel like going anywhere...i want to be alone... Hyder ask me to go to his home tday...to celebrate sumthing...but really...i dont have any mood... None...
Maybe i might die...alone too

Too much being hurt... Im afraid im being heartless